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Holland Park Press

Operation Honey Trap

11 October 2010 Zie Nederlandse versie
by Arnold Jansen op de Haar

It has been an exciting week. My attention was drawn to this headline: ‘Forbidden sex in the interest of national security’. ‘How can I apply?’ I muttered. It transpired to be an utterance by Rabbi Ari Schvat. In his opinion, it is perfectly fine for attractive female secret agents to lure the enemy into providing information for the greater good of Israel. However, the Rabbi insists that they should be single.

We know of previous cases. In 1986, Cheryl Ben Tov, code name ‘Cindy’, was fielded to entice Mordechai Vanunu, who had given away nuclear secrets, to come to Rome where he was subsequently abducted by the Mossad.

This year it became clear that the Mossad is not the only secret service to make use of these practices. The British-Russian Anna Chapman was expelled from the US because of her espionage activities for the Russian Secret Service. This earned her, among others, the following nicknames: ‘flame-haired beauty’, ‘femme fatale’, ‘the modern day Bond Girl’, and ‘the stunning SoHo spy’.

I read in the paper that last Friday, after having been out of circulation for three months, she sent off a rocket in Kazakhstan.  That is something different, wishing a rocket a pleasant journey. We assume Borat was otherwise engaged.

I must admit, she is exactly my type. Jay Leno said to Vice President Joe Biden: ‘Do we have any spies that hot?’ Joe Biden: ‘It wasn’t my idea to send her back home.’ Exactly what she has been up to in the US is not known, but I would have told her just about everything.

In my case it wouldn’t have been of any use. I don’t believe the Russians are interested in my expertise about modern Dutch poetry, preparing one pan meals and Dutch entries in the Eurovision Song Contest.

This method introduces a problem with female terrorists. Maybe, fifty years from now, we will read that George Clooney worked undercover for the CIA. At least ten percent of the world’s population is homosexual so why shouldn’t this apply equally to terrorists? This requires implementation of quite a different honey pot.

This may well offer a second career opportunity to George Michael. Maybe we will soon find out that the Village People were actually members of a US Army Special Forces unit.

There is only one Dutch equivalent: Mata Hari, an alleged double agent who worked for France as well as Germany during the First World War and hence was executed in France. Femmes fatales appeal to our imagination.

Israel is unique because there they seriously discuss the moral grounds of Operation Honey Trap. Other countries do it in secret. Yet it poses an interesting dilemma: should we use questionable methods for the greater good?

In my opinion, only in exceptional circumstances is the unthinkable justified. But this brings unprecedented possibilities. Send Amy Winehouse to Afghanistan to locate the poppy fields. A magnificent picture: her beehive towering above the commander hatch of an armoured vehicle.
 
I think about replacing security gates at airports by pickpockets in the departure lounge. A little later on board of the plane, a few questionable types in the first row are quite astonished to find their pockets empty.

Football leads the way. More and more top players are being seduced by beautiful women. This could well be a campaign by the Russian Football Association to keep up with technical developments. Bend It Like Beckham.

This week, I was deeply involved in Operation Beehive. Twice I got into a serious discussion with people I like (honey pots). I hesitated. I almost gave in. But I quite simply very much disagreed with them. I retaliated a little too sharply and Operation Beehive was born. In any case, I am not handsome enough to provide a honey trap. If I were the British Secret Service, I would immediately recruit Kate Winslet.

© Arnold Jansen op de Haar
© Translation Holland Park Press
 
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